I found myself was walking on the house compound. I looked at the house, its a wooden house. It was big like a bungalow. I looked around, the compound was breathtaking. There were flowers everywhere. Roses, orchids, tulips, all in different colors. I looked at my self, I looked slightly different. I touched my hair, they also felt different. I don't know why but all I know is that I want to water the flowers.
With a slow pace, I get to the side of the house to get a hose. I turned it on, and started watering everything. Hahh... it's what I always wanna do... I feel so peaceful inside. But there's something, I feel a bit, slightly heartbroken. Its like something was not right. I looked around, all the flowers.... the mountains... the sky... the house... what could go wrong?
It was dusk. The twilight hit the house with a wonderful and very peaceful light. I walked towards the house, all I know is that, I own that house. The weird thing is, half of me felt happy with what I've accomplished. Its like what I have now is a dream coming true. But yet, half of me felt heavy as I walked. Something's missing.
I looked up before I entered the house. I saw a man in his late thirties at the balcony. He wasn't really that handsome, but he has a figure. He wasn't muscular, not fat, just normal. It was weird, when a girl like me, 15, looking at a guy at this age, the first thought would be, he must be my uncle. But this is different, I felt a deep love with this man. A romantic kind of love. Eww? Haha... to me that time, it wasn't. But when I wake up, YES! LOL. Anyway, in me, there's something. Something that's not good. Hate? No, not really. Heartbroken? I'm not sure. He looked at me, a cold look.
I get into the house, heading upstairs, to my room. When I get to the upper floor, the man I saw on the balcony walked into the house. He walked past me, I felt a really deep love for the guy, in fact, I feel like hugging him! Chill out girls, it wasn't Vin Diesel.. haha..But yet, its different, he's cold. The way he looked at me, I know he loves me too, but he too, felt cold with me. It's like we've just been into a fight. A heavy one but not physical of course. Anyway, he was heading downstairs. Kitchen probably.
I walked inside my room, it was pretty big, a master bedroom with king size bed. The room looked a lot like a first class hotel. I started for the wardrobe, took a robe and head for the shower. Inside the shower, I kept thinking, who's the guy? What had happened? And why am I even here? Suddenly, snap! I know that I was dreaming! Yeah... Its time to make some magic. But no, this time its different. I don't feel like I want to have a lucid dream. I don't want to change the guy into Vin Diesel, change the scene into a wonderful romantic waterfall or anything. I know that I was dreaming but since everything felt so real, I decided to continue the weirdness of it. Cause it felt so right, but yet so wrong. LOL. Anyway, I was determined to make things right with the guy. I felt a very deep connection with him.
I looked into the giant mirror inside my wardrobe, I was a bit shocked! Guess what? I'm old! Yaih...! But I also felt a familiarity with it. It seems like I'm already used to it. I looked like I'm in my late thirties. Anyway, I wore a sleeping robe and head downstairs. At the stairs, I saw I giant framed picture of me and someone who supposedly my husband. It was a wedding picture. I looked young, younger than what I see my self now. I looked happy in it. It seems like I was 27 something in that picture. And the guy was the guy at the balcony. Then a thought struck me! Ring! I looked at my fingers. There it is, funny I didn't notice it all this while. I took it out and look for the name who supposedly to be carved inside the ring. There's the name... Beverly love (.....). I like to keep the name private.. :)
Now I know that he was actually my husband. That explains why I felt a very deep love with him. I went quickly downstairs, hoping to see him there. I looked around the living room. Nope, he's not there. I went to the kitchen, not there either. I went out, went to the back, and there he is, sipping his wine looking over the shimmering swimming pool. I looked at his fingers, like I expected, he wore the same ring as I do. I went to him, he won't even looked at me. Ow... that's cold. I just stand there, hoping that he would say something. I need root, I'm blank, how the heck would I say something? He finally make a move. He took a glass, pour some wine in it and hand it to me. With a cold face :P
I took the wine, sat next to him, working something on my mind. I finally make a sound, the first time I hear my own voice. It sounds slightly different. I said, "Have you had your dinner?".
He said, "No."
Spontaneously I said, "Well, lets go out and have some."
He doesn't say anything. Five minutes and no response. I was pissed. I put the wine on the table and head to my room.
I wait for him in the room. I can't sleep. I was really pissed but yet I still wanted to make things right. That's it! That's my mission. To win his heart back. After like supposedly three hours of waiting and fighting with my feelings, he finally came in and lay beside me. Furious, I said in a loud voice, "Should we talk about this?"
He said, "What is it to talk about?"
Suddenly, I felt like I know what was happening. I said in an angry but cool tone, "You still love her do you?"
He said calmly, "I told you what I told you."
"Stop lying to me! You shouldn't come to me after you break up with her that day. I knew it, you was heartbroken aren't you? You just don't want to be alone! You didn't love me! You didn't! I knew it, I was no more than your best friend whom you seek for when you're down aren't I?"
Silence....
I added, "We shouldn't get married..." with a slower voice. I found myself crying. I could feel warm tears flowing from my eyes. Trust me, it does felt real. Too real to be a dream. I was really heartbroken. It really feels like a real experience even to this day.
He want's to say something. "Yes...."
Suddenly everything went black. Damn, I woke up! My phone rings. Someone was calling. It was my mum, calling to remind me to pack up cause I was going back to Sandakan that evening.
Weird... I felt like shit that I didn't get to finish my dream. But yet, I'm glad that it ended. It was a nightmare. Though I didn't get to hear what he was trying to say, but I know, it was something that could tear me into millions of pieces. Though I was really heartbroken, I don't want to lose him.
Weird+creepy+amazing isn't it? Weird because its just weird. LOL. Creepy, cause I'm old+married. Amazing? Well... not everyone got to experience this right? I mean, married? For real? Haha... It really motivated me a lot.
I do get a conclusions to this dream. I mean the meaning behind it. But, I'd rather to keep it personal :)
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