Popular Artist: May 2012

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Chic Summer Hairstyle in Less Than 3 Minutes!

It's simple, and looks absolutely gorgeous (and classy). All you pretty ladies out there who are worried about their hairstyle for summer, this is it!

Check it out; it takes about 3 minutes (max) and is good-to-go for a day at work!

Finally! The Joe Pa tribute song you didn't know you wanted, brought to you by "The Boogie Woogie King of Rock 'n' Roll", Joey Welz. If this shit isn't #1 on Hot 97's Top 8 @ 8 then there is something severely wrong with this country. Like, almost as wrong as not reporting eyewitness accusations of child molestation.

Lyrics below

The evil that was told to him he hardly understood
He reported it to his superiors like he knew he should
What happened after that he really never knew
You don't tell your superiors what to do

Years later it all came back that he was given the blame
for not doing something more, and he was put to shame
Instead of going out with honor that his good name had earned
For years of service and giving, his image they tried to burn

How could he be wrong, when he tried to do what was right?
God judged him with mercy. Now he lives in God's delight (All right!)
The records may state that cancer tore his body apart
But through it all he remained stalwart, and he died of a broken heart

[Breakdown]

No trustees can destroy all that for years he created
Not just winning teams, but young men who graduatedd
Yeah, he was the people's coach, and the people will not stand
for the slandering of one of the best coaches in the land.

Rest in peace, Joe Paterno. Your good name is still intact
Nothing can destroy your image. We won't let it, that's a fact
He was the people's coach, and the people will not stand
for the slandering of one of the best coaches in the land

-fresh (@danye33)

(via Deadspin)

The Real World St. Thomas Looks Awful

Remember in Superbad when Seth told Evan that getting a breast reduction was "like slapping god across the face for giving you a beautiful gift"? Well that's exactly how I felt after watching this trailer for the upcoming season of the Real World: St. Thomas. I mean here these people are on a beautiful, tropical island, with a crazy ass house, no supervision and an unlimited supply of alcohol and they literally don't do one single fun activity in the entire preview. And spare me the whole "maybe they're saving it for the season" spiel, because you and I both know that's not how MTV operates. If something crazy were to happen they would have teased the shit out of it. Remember when Snooki got cold clocked in the face by that Cortland bro in the season one trailer for Jersey Shore? They literally showed that punch eight thousand times before it was actually set to air. If there's no cut to black fight scene, the season ain't worth watching.

Real World St. Thomas looks like The Simple Life meets Bug Juice: My Summer At Camp. Going on nature hikes, feeding animals and playing pranks like they're at a middle school sleepover. A couple harmless make outs, a cannon ball into an empty hot tub, group snorkeling? CMON SON! The only scene that slightly sparked my interest was when the ginger punched himself in the head and even that looked half assed. I didn't think anything could be worse than last season in San Diego, but right now this summer is looking pretty bleak. I'd rather watch CT lift weights, eat steak and read the Boston Herald in his Bahston accent for an hour each week than this crap.

Somebody wake me up when The Challenge starts back up again.

-fresh (@danye33)

A Canadian's Take On The Severed Foot That Was Sent To The Conservative Party Headquarters

Most people spend red eye flights home from Las Vegas either A) sleeping or B) wallowing in self pity, thinking about all the hard earned money they just pissed away on the black jack table. I did neither of those things last month on my return trip home, and instead struck up conversation and became friends with a late twenty something bass player from Toronto. We chatted about life and our vacations before exchanging contact info (Facebook names) and fading off into iPod induced comas.

We agreed to do an interview in early summer when his band, Asleep In The Machine, releases their new single, but for now Canada has more pressing issues at hand (or should I say foot?). Like the face eating zombie attack in Miami earlier this week, America's hat too has had it's run in with a high profile case, involving the dismembering of human body parts.

Two days ago a note with a severed foot was sent to the Conservative Party Headquarters in Ottawa. The note indicated no motive for the killing, but stated that the killer intended to strike again and that there were six body parts in total circulating around the country. Police have reason to believe that the killer is 29 year old porn star/sadist Luka Rocco Magnotta, who also goes by the aliases Eric Clinton Newman and Vladimir Romanov.

The police began to suspect Magnotta after a video started making it's rounds on the internet showing "two naked young men, one stabbing the other with an ice pick. The killer then dismembers the corpse and engages in sexual acts with the body and its severed parts." Internet searches for Luka reviled a history of kitten snuff films and blog posts that offered a "six-step process to shedding an identity".

Ottawa and Montreal have been the hubs of much media attention of late, doubling as a crime scene for the severed foot and home base for student protests for more than one hundred days now, taking a stand against tuition hikes among other issues. It still remains to be seen whether or not the foot has any connection to the protests or occupy movement. To get a sense for how the natives were taking the news of a potential serial killer on the loose, the 2 Man Weave reached out to our Canadian correspondent, Dan Carret, to see what the general consensus is up north. Here's what he had to say.

"As far as the Montreal story goes (in-regards to the protests)... I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist, so I believe the media exaggerates a lot of stuff to justify the harsh political amendments they're making. In a nutshell, they want to make it illegal to do protests with more than something like 50-100 people, and I'm pretty sure that's the epitome of anti-democratic. Still, if the media is telling the absolute truth, then obviously the protesters are out of line. In regards to the foot... nobody really knows whose foot it is or why it was sent to the Conservative party, so one can't assume it's connected to the Montreal protests until we have more information. That said, it is getting a ton of publicity in Toronto but we usually don't get too worried about these things. There are genocides happening around the world... one human foot is nothing in comparison to that.

Like I said, we don't really freak out about stuff like this. Obviously there's a psycho out there, but it's one human foot, not 10 bodies. I'm curious (to see) what happens though!"

So there you have it folks, it's going to take more than a severed limb to get our neighbors worked up. However, we will continue to monitor this story as more and more details emerge.

-fresh (@danye33)

Bloomberg Set To Ban Big Gulps In NYC

(NYT) New York City plans to enact a far-reaching ban on the sale of large sodas and other sugary drinks at restaurants, movie theaters and street carts, in the most ambitious effort yet by the Bloomberg administration to combat rising obesity. The sale of any cup or bottle of sweetened drink larger than 16 fluid ounces — about the size of a medium coffee, and smaller than a common soda bottle — would be prohibited under the first-in-the-nation plan, which could take effect as soon as next March.

Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush here, the only reason I blogged this story is so that I would have an excuse to throw up this classic scene from Dumb & Dumber. All it takes is functioning eye balls to notice that ~~kids~~ everyone is obese these days and if the Mayor thinks that cutting down on the accessibility to these high calorie, sugary drinks will lead to a healthier population then the more power to him. Sans the occasional Jack and Coke, I don't even like soda. I've been keen for a while to the fact that chugging down on some pop is a complete waste of your daily calorie intake. In fact it takes 3 miles worth of walking just to burn off that one 20 oz. soft drink. I'll take an extra slice of pizza and some H20 all day.

-fresh (@danye33)

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

New Orleans Wins The Unibrow Sweepstakes

The New Orleans Hornets won the 2012 NBA draft lottery tonight, earning the right to select The Unibrow, Kentucky All-American Anthony Davis, with the first pick in next month's draft. The Hornets were 21-45 last season and had a 13.7% chance of having their ping pong ball selected first. But despite the good odds, you can bank on the conspiracy theorists coming out in full force in these next few days, seeing that New Orleans is still currently owned by the National Basketball Association itself. Tom Benson, who also owns the Saints, bought the Hornets in April after bounty gate swept the nation, and some people like to lionize over the idea that perhaps Stern assured him of the #1 pick to sweeten the pot. This is all fair and good, but the fact of the matter remains that this year's lottery would have been a lose-lose no matter where the pong balls landed.

If ~~New Jersey~~ Brooklyn had landed the top pick, everyone would have said it was because the league wanted the Nets to succeed in their new arena and ~~remain~~ get competitive. If the Kings got the first pick it would have been because they wanted the Maloof's to get funding for a new stadium. If the Bobcats had gotten it, it would have been because they wanted Jordan to get back on his feet. The reasoning behind the Cavs getting it for a second year in a row would have been because of "The Decision" backlash.

No matter how it played out, gasoline was going to be doused on the NBA is rigged fire. Only if I were commissioner of the league, I would have stomped that puppy out right away. See all you have to do to prove your product isn't rigged is show the actual ping pong ball selection live on TV. You can't tell me one good reason why they decide the outcome behind closed doors. It's sketchy, unethical and leaves the door open for way too much speculation.

If they showed the balls being selected, not only would it make the viewing experience more enjoyable (this year's broadcast was awkward and anticlimactic) but it would shut up all the doubters, generate raw emotion from fans and owners and prove that the NBA has nothing to hide. Instead, the league got their man, and now we're left with another year thinking "what just happened?".

-fresh (@danye33)

Young Barack Obama

When she told him that she loved him, his response was not "I love you, too" but "thank you" -- as though he appreciated that someone loved him.
Barack Obama's Dreams from My Fatherreveals his younger life, grappling with his racial identity and past. Some of the details in the book, though, aren't quite accurate, particularly a discussion of his "New York girlfriend" who is actually several women melded into one, according to an upcoming biography of the president by David Maraniss.