Twisted thoughts

Hello people! Yepp... I miss you all! I miss sharing my thoughts with you all. Lately everything is crammed right inside this head. Time was so jealous with me that it didn't allow me write.. .pergghh...! Anyways, first of all, I want to thank you all that even though this blog was static for months you are still faithful to visit. Thank you!!!


Anyway, sorry, no tips, no nothing this time. I'm a bit confused my self lately that I can't think straight! I can't really study well too. Ooh.. what a shame. The only thing that's on my mind is that, "Beverly, fix yourself!". Why? Well.. for some reasons, I'm kinda broken. Broken in many unexplained ways. Not because I was being cheated by my boyfriend nor I was being dumped or something. No, no... I don't have a boyfriend how the heck was that even possible.. LOL.

Have you ever been in a situation where everything was so perfect in your life.? You have a successful life, happy family, awesome friends, but yet, there is this little doubts in you that keeps on telling you that something was not right. That's what happen to me now. I spent a hell lot of time figuring out what is  wrong but yet, the more I search, the bigger the doubts. I wonder, with this life that I'm currently in, I just can't stop my self for being grateful with everything. But yet, there's something in me that believes that something was going perfectly wrong. I don't have anything big to worry about other than my 'Going Down' performance in school which for some reasons doesn't really bother me because I know, It's still early man. I can still work on blast to fix it in time. At least that's what I believe.

It's funny how something that was so perfect in the surface makes you believe that something was wrong. Let's put it like this, I'm in a middle of a dilemma on what to believe. Referring to the source of doubts, I believe that everything goes perfectly fine and there's nothing to worry about. But, the world and my heart believes that what I heard, is not what it seems. I really wanted to believe what I try to believe but somehow, I know the trouble was there. I wish I could trust my brain but my feelings is overtaking my common sense. My intuition says differently and it sent me wondering for answers everywhere. I ask for advice's and opinions from trusted, experienced, and elder people and they also believe what actually me my self believe. But yet, I'm still very, very confused. I really wanted to know the answers but yet, I can't lie to my self that I enjoyed the thrill. Its funny how I called, confused, hurts and tears as THRILL.


And the only thing they kept on saying is that, WAIT AND SEE. Wait? Huhh.. Wait. Truth is, I'm dying of waiting and believing. As a matter of fact, I'm not really a very patient person and this all is challenging my patience. I could a get heart attack with this all.LOL. But yet, I can't stop smiling at the thought of it. Everything is so weird... Not to mention the stupid omens my intuition keeps on showing. Like dreams... Strong feelings on something and ugghh.. I just can't explain.

But whatever it is... I'll just believe in this, "It's not what you think it is okay. It's what it shows and that's it. Accept it Bev and again, FIX YOURSELF." It tear my heart actually but that's it. Anyway, just a thought, How can you fix if you don't know what's broken? o.O

Words Of Strength

Never regret or dwells on yesterday's

mistakes or decisions.

They are part of the learning curve

that is called life. The greatest gift you can give yourself

is to start each day anew taking what

you have learned from yesterday, putting it

to good use today, and bettering yourself

and your life with it tomorrow.